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2GAG - Hazard Pay by Drunken-Novice 2GAG - Hazard Pay by Drunken-Novice
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Whenever I answer the phone and it's a salesman I instantly burst into tears and start crying loudly.
I'd excuse it as a purposeful tactic but it doesn't stop them.

But really though, you'd be crazy not to like the Twogag Facebook Page.

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:iconelperico13:
elperico13 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hahaha that's funny you do this whole thing? would you be up to join a comic group im looking for comic writers, pecilers an colorists a place where we can collaborate and have fun
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:iconjonathan856:
jonathan856 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this comic.
Reply
:iconheadphones87:
headphones87 Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Im going to so do this from now on.
Reply
:iconxxxmiragexxx:
xXxMiragexXx Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Student General Artist
Whenever I get called by a salesman I just answer either "Hello City morgue, you kill them we chill them, what can I do for you today?" or "Hello, roadkill cafe, you kill it we grill it, what can we make for you today?" it is a good tactic and works quite a bit. XD
Reply
:iconashen-phoenix:
Ashen-Phoenix Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh man... This is genius and quietly terrifying. Go, Guy, go!
Reply
:iconroseserpenthelm:
RoseSerpenthelm Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Okay, I have GOT to try this X3
Reply
:iconshibaji:
shibaji Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So she does smile on occasion.
Reply
:iconavancna:
avancna Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Guy is living the other American Dream
Reply
:iconsephtis:
Sephtis Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Student General Artist
And I thought I was the only person who answered random calls with "this is he".
Reply
:icontemp0ralfool:
Temp0ralfool Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2014
well, she answered the call with "this is she" so you're still the only person you know of(real or otherwise) that answered random calls with "this is he"

technically correct is the only kind of correct.
Reply
:iconsephtis:
Sephtis Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2014  Student General Artist
Blegh, it's close enough :P
Reply
:iconleonorachris:
LeonoraChris Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I tried this kind of job once, years ago. Never again... It was hell, but I still find this one hilarious.
Reply
:iconworldwalker128:
WorldWalker128 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2014
The last time a Telephone sales person called I sang a parodied version of Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up. She busted up laughing.
Reply
:iconmohamedhp:
Mohamedhp Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Interface Designer
the best you ever did
Reply
:iconcat-noodles:
Cat-Noodles Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2014
Have you ever tried to do the job?
The abuse? The terrible manners?
The pressure from your higher ups when you fail to ''Be assertive"
Reply
:iconwixkedlovely:
WixkedLovely Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014
I do feel bad for you guys because people can be super harsh. But at the same time I don't feel bad when I'm watching TV, reading a book or just trying to relax and then the phone rings and I think it's a call I might actually want, but instead find out it's some stupid telemarketer. And if it only happened once, okay that's cool, but all the time as if you think I just missed the call and I can't wait for you to call back. There are times when I would love to cuss someone out for that. Why is that still even option for a job! People hardly even call their own parents for Christ sakes, why would they want to talk to someone at some random moment of the day about the stuff they sale which probably isn't even something that they would ever need/want! 
Sorry but you should really try getting another job, man. 
Reply
:iconcat-noodles:
Cat-Noodles Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014
Do you know what a cochlear ear implant is?
Its pretty much a brand new ear for a deaf person!
So that a 3 year old child who has never heard their mothers voice before can hear the words I love you! for the first time.
Do you know how poorly funded these wonderful devices are in most countries?
We ring people at home who are listening to the television or having a conversation with family might share what they would more than likely wasted on a six pack of alcohol to give help a deaf child what they have.
I ring people at home so that a mother can hear her children laugh.
What do you do for a living? sell someone a new shirt? a pair of socks?
Do you go home at night feeling like you have done something worth while?
Yes the job can be hard with the sort of people who cant give five minuted of their time and a few dollars of their booze money to help another human being. 
But then you ring a parent whose child has hearing problems and needs that help, or that business man who donates $100 dollars of money he doesn't really need to give a child the gift sound, and you remember that there are some decent people in this world and you make another phone call and talk to another person.
I work for the national foundation for the deaf and I ring people in the evenings because everyone deserves to hear their children laugh!
Reply
:iconanimalmother-getsome:
I know that feel bro...
Reply
:iconcat-noodles:
Cat-Noodles Featured By Owner May 26, 2014
Every little bit counts!
Reply
:iconanimalmother-getsome:
AnimalMother-getsome Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014
You're goddamn right!
Reply
:iconworldwalker128:
WorldWalker128 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2014
No, but I've worked retail at Walmart in Delaware for almost 4 years now. I imagine it's quite similar, as I've wanted to commit murder a few times.
Reply
:iconcat-noodles:
Cat-Noodles Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2014
At least you have faces, so you can memorise them, and if you see them on the street!!!!!
And I doubt walmarts targets are quiet so bad, your customers come to you.
"How did you get my number, its a brand new number!"
PEOPLE THERE IS NO SUCH THING!!!!!!!!!!!!
The oldies complain about todays youth, teenagers have better phone manners than the older generation!
Reply
:iconworldwalker128:
WorldWalker128 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2014
No, I people were pricks back then, and their offspring are the pricks of today. It's just that towns were smaller back when they were young and if you acted like a dick your parents spanked your backside or did some other punishment than just locking you in your room...with your hidden hand-held game console or cell phone. If the older folks don't recall people misbehaving in 'their day' then they either weren't paying attention, or made a point of pretending they did not exist.
Reply
:iconcat-noodles:
Cat-Noodles Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014
New Zealand now has an anti smacking law in place, if someone did that in public today..........
Being on the phones has one advantage I can make faces as I speak to the new king of retards on the phone.
You get some great excuses as to why people cant talk to you.
In the two years Ive been at this job the winner is still
"Sorry cant talk my kicten is on fire!!!" (could hear the smoke alarm in the background.)
And the worst was a woman who had just gotten home from the hospital after being told she had cance, sat with her on the phone for thirty minutes while she cried, until her husband got home.  He was so grateful that they donated 500 dollars to the charity.
There are some wonderful people in this world, sure theres a basket load of scum on top the barrel but if you dig down and wade through all the decaying crap you will find them.
Reply
:iconikillsilently:
iKillSilently Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Just pretend to speak in another language after you say "hello" , or if you actually know one like i do! It works!!! :D
Reply
:iconderosaart:
DeROSAart Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2014  Professional General Artist
YES!!!!!
Reply
:icondreamingdeepestblakk:
DreamingDeepestBlakk Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2014
I wish I could do that!!!!
Reply
:iconsupersandro:
SuperSandro Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Why did i never think of this!
Reply
:iconvutava:
Vutava Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
\m/
Reply
:iconjustjakk:
justjakk Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
When I get a salesman/woman on the phone, trying to sell me something, I normally make them hang up by attempting to sell them things that I may have in my roon, near me. 

One such call had me trying to sell off a pair of used socks. Sadly, they don't want my damned socks. 

Maybe next time. 
Reply
:iconkinuna:
Kinuna Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I knew someone who would do that, except they would try to sell them any random thing that came to mind, like car insurance that their friend has.
Reply
:iconscr1b3:
Scr1b3 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
How on earth do you even do that???
Reply
:iconjustjakk:
justjakk Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2014
I glad you commented. You have a great opportunity right now. 

I have in stock, right now, a pink plushie keychain. When you squeeze its stomach, it's sings, one syllable at a time, "Skip to my lou"

This can be yours with twenty payments of .25 cents. 
Reply
:iconscr1b3:
Scr1b3 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh ha ha! Very funny!
Reply
:iconjustjakk:
justjakk Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014
Is that a "no"?
Reply
:iconscr1b3:
Scr1b3 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I have no moneys :(
Reply
:iconjustjakk:
justjakk Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014
We can put you on the student loan program 
Reply
:iconscr1b3:
Scr1b3 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol I'm already on one! XD
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icondtjb:
DTJB Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh god, that smile...help me.

Also, this is VERY relevant.  www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkdoog…
Reply
:iconcalumtraveler:
CalumTraveler Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Next time I get a call, I'm going to Troll them just like this.... And see how they react when I hang up!

The fear on their behalf is going to be the ultimate prank in the history of Pranks! :D
Reply
:iconcaimanr:
CaimanR Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014
JUSTICE!
Reply
:iconazabachesilver:
AzabacheSilver Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Sometimes, I would like to be able to do this.  Sometimes there's cute sounding sales girls on the other line. :wink 
Reply
:iconsheeeva:
Sheeeva Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Your choice of the tele-consultant's name being Steve is particularly hilarious for me, because here in SA there has been a whole series of radio ads about a guy called Steve who calls people and tries to get people to sign up with his bank.
Reply
:iconprincesscereza:
PrincessCereza Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I was so irritated earlier and this just made me forget it all :iconcblushplz:
Reply
:iconmegaanilinkfan:
MegaAniLinkFan Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2014
DAT FACE.  ITS CREEPIER THAN.....WELL IT'S THE CREEPIEST FACE SHE'S EVER MADE!
Reply
:iconelaini-the-mystic:
Elaini-the-Mystic Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2014
Just hang up as soon as you find out that it's a telemarketer. Coldly. They won't take no as an answer, hanging up they will.
Reply
:iconaviansie:
aviansie Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2014
I love the wicked grin 
Reply
:iconnightmaresdreaming:
NightmaresDreaming Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
God I laughed so hard at this
Reply
:icondeaditez:
Deaditez Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2014  Student Writer
Sound's about right.
Reply
:iconthecoondog:
TheCoonDog Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Dat face tho
Reply
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February 28, 2014
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